Elementary School Kids and Social Media: A Dicey Proposition

If you think kids as young as 6 years old aren't posting and chatting away on social media, better think again.

The article "Does Instagram Put Kids at Risk?" in the June/July issue of Scholastic Parent & Child magazine takes an eye-opening look at just how young some users of this particular social media app really are.

Writer Sharon Duke Estroff went on an "undercover mission" for this piece, exploring the potential upsides and pitfalls of kids using Instagram, a photo-sharing app owned by Facebook that's increasingly popular among school kids. Estroff posed on Instagram as a "fun-loving 10-year-old girl with an affinity for Justin Bieber and all things adorable," she writes. And some of what she discovered might stop parents in their tracks.

"I saw little boys tossing around four-letter words like footballs; I followed young girls who asked me to 'like' their pictures if 'you think I look sexy'; I viewed popular posts that included an alleged paparazzi pic of Zac Efron's private parts," Estroff writes. All this on the accounts of elementary school children.

Technically, you must be at least 13 to use Instagram. It's clearly stated in the app's "Terms of Use." Facebook, Snapchat and other social networking services have the same age requirement. They have to in order to comply with the federal Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), which makes it illegal to collect, use, or disclose personal information from anyone under 13 without parental consent.

But as Internet safety expert Larry Magrid writes in Forbes, COPPA is about preventing the collection of personal information, not about online safety. "COPPA compliance in no way means that the site is safe or appropriate for young children," Magrid writes.

And the age cutoff certainly isn't stopping kids from signing up in droves. In a study by McAfee released last month, 85% of kids ages 10 to 12 admitted to having a Facebook profile. Last year, a study by Ipsos on kids and social media found that 29% of all kids ages 6-12 had an account on a social media site.

Facebook was by far the most popular site among kids in the Ipsos study, and statistics show that there are millions of users under 13 on Facebook. But the popularity of Instagram and Snapchat among elementary school kids has soared in recent months.

Statistics on underaged kids using these apps are hard to come by, but in her Scholastic Parent & Child article, Estroff describes a world in which 8-year-olds are using Instagram like old pros, posting photos, sharing comments, collecting hundreds of followers and "liking" each other's posts.

Estroff's Instagram investigation was triggered by her own 10-year-old daughter complaining that everyone at her school had an Instagram account but her. Estroff eventually "caved," as she says, and let her daughter sign up — but only under close supervision and with strict rules.

When it comes to social media, the "Everybody's doing it!" argument is a powerful one parents are up against these days. And it's a hard spot for parents to be in.

On the one hand, we don't want to deprive kids of important opportunities to be part of the group and to feel that they belong. Through Instagram and other social media services, kids stay connected to each other and can enjoy support and encouragement from peers and a much desired sense of community. What kid doesn't want to be "liked," online or off?

On the other hand, we don't want our kids being "followed" online by complete strangers or accepting requests from strangers to be followed. We don't want them harassed or bullied online, or subjected to posts, comments, photos and videos that are far too mature for their age.

Even with close monitoring and safeguarding, Estroff writes, inappropriate posts still slipped through to her daughter's new Instagram feed: "A string of raunchy jokes posted by a boy in her class who had re-posted them off of his older sister's Instagram; pictures of a friend's older brother funneling beer at a fraternity party; 20 minutes later, the same boy urinating on a car," Estroff writes. We're talking about a 10-year-old's account here. "As a parent, I was mortified," she writes.

And yet many parents find they must weigh these risks against the potential benefits that socializing online might have for their kids. Many, like Estroff, let their younger kids sign up for these 13-and-over services but are committed to keeping track of what their kids are doing on them and to protecting them from possible harm.

Estroff gives a helpful list of "Rules to Keep Kids Safe" using Instagram. These include creating a joint account with your kid; controlling the password; reviewing posts, followers, followees and comments; and setting time limits for using the app, which she calls "highly addictive."

And yes, making sure your child's account is private. This is truly key. Instagram accounts are public by default. Estroff writes that about half of the kids she saw on Instagram had accounts that were public. So it's up to parents to take charge and actively change the privacy settings.

Instagram's Photo Map feature.

It's also important to never activate the app's Photo Map option, which shows the exact location that a photo was taken, "down to the street number," Estroff explains. (For more on geotagging and kids, see the previous post on this blog. Also see this recent Digital Trends piece on a petition to Instagram to make it disable its geotagging feature and change its default privacy settings. For info on a new parents' guide to Instagram, see this post.)

Staying on top of all this is a lot to ask of parents. The recent McAfee study — which explored the "online disconnect" between parents and kids when it comes to online activities — reported that 80% of parents do not even know how to find out what their children are doing online. The study showed that a large majority of parents — 74% — say they do not have the time or energy to keep up with their children's online activity. They're throwing in the towel and just hoping for the best.

But if parents don't remain vigilant about protecting kids from inappropriate content online, who will? Certainly not the social media services.

In a recent Digital Trends article, writer Kate Knibbs shows how and why social media sites like Facebook and Instagram are failing to keep young kids off their services. Even the new SnapKidz feature on Snapchat for kids under 13, which rolled out last month, won't keep kids off the real service, Knibbs argues.

When kids who are under 13 try to sign up for Snapchat, the popular app that lets users send self-deleting photos, the new SnapKidz mode now kicks in. It allows kids to take photos and doodle on them, but it won't let them send them to anyone. Knibbs calls this new feature pointless — "a meaningless mea culpa that will achieve absolutely nothing." Savvy kids know all they have to do to get the real Snapchat service is plug in a fake birth date. It's what they do on all social media sites that require a birth date to "prove" that you're 13 or older.

"SnapKidz is like a pair of really flimsy, slightly deflated arm floaties," Knibbs writes. "Parents slip them on their kids and may assume they won’t have to watch them swim as closely. But they don’t actually make the child safer."

There's not much Snapchat or other social media services can do to keep underaged kids off without requiring complicated background checks, Knibbs says. And such checks are not likely to happen. So it will remain up to parents and other adults to pay close attention to what young kids are doing online and to keep them safe. A "snap," right? Not so much in today's rapidly changing digital world.

Controlling Your Digital Footprints: An NPR Report

Your child posts an innocent photo of the family dog on a social media site. No problem, right? Not necessarily.

As this recent report from NPR's "Weekend Edition" explains, there are many apps available that can pinpoint precisely where a photo was taken, in effect making it possible to lead someone right to your child.

This is due to a process called geotagging, or adding geographic location "metadata" to photos, videos and other media.

"Today all smartphones and most cameras add those tags automatically," NPR's Steve Henn explains. "It's like writing your address on the back of a photo."

In this report, Henn demonstrates how easy it is to drop a photo into an app that will reveal all of the metadata attached to it. Such apps allow someone to see exactly where the photo was taken — right down to the building, and even where in the building.

"All of this information gets stored, and if you email a picture to a friend or post it on a social network, a lot of that can be out there and easily accessible," Henn says. This data is catalogued with each photo, Henn explains, "unless you go into your phone and turn the location services information on your camera off, which you have to know a little bit to do. But most people, I think, don't do it."

Henn, who has an 11-year-old daughter himself, says some new tools have emerged to help people control their own digital footprints, such as Wickr, an app developed by security and privacy experts that lets you send encrypted text, photo and video messages. It also allows you set a time limit for how long a message is shared. Wickr, which has the tagline "Leave No Trace," boasts on its site that it "flips messaging on its head, giving control to the sender instead of the receiver (or servers in between)."

In the wake of the NSA scandal, at a time of heightened awareness about just how easily our personal information is collected, privacy is on everyone's minds — including concerned parents.

"Perhaps over time," Henn says, "as we continue to have conversations about privacy like this, we'll see more attention in Silicon Valley about making tools available that are easy to use that also allow you to control how your information is shared." And that let you rest easy if a photo of Buster happens to be shared online.

New Yorker Cartoon Roundup: Reflections on Generation Tech

Here's one just for fun. Through the decades, The New Yorker magazine has captured the changing digital landscape with true genius through witty cartoons that are spot-on. Here's a quick roundup of some of the magazine's best cartoons from the past few years on growing up digital by an array of clever artists. Enjoy!

From September 27, 2010, by artist Emily Flake (who was also highlighted in this earlier post):

Is this what's coming next? From December 17, 2012, by artist Harry Bliss:

Another classic by Emily Flake, from April 11, 2011:

Here are two recent cartoons on "the Cloud." First, from August 13, 2012, by Emily Flake again...

... and from October 8, 2012, by Tom Cheney:

This is not about young people per se, but I couldn't resist. It's one of the funniest cartoons I've ever seen about the Internet. From June 25, 2012, by Roz Chast:

From September 5, 2011, by Alex Gregory:

From October 1, 2012, by Matthew Diffee, about a girl's Klout score, or alleged social media influence:

And finally, my absolute favorite. By Mick Stevens, published March 15, 2010. This one says it all:

"Present Shock" Author on Kids and Digital Media: When and How to Use What

Forget "future shock" — the stress of dealing with rapid, accelerating change. Our problem is the present — the real-time, "always on" immediacy of today's digital culture, says media theorist Douglas Rushkoff in his new book, Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now.

Rushkoff has been studying the impact of digital media on society for the past 30 years. It was Rushkoff who coined the phrases "viral media" and "digital native." In his latest book on media, technology and culture, out today, Rushkoff argues that trying to keep up in the digital world can be overwhelming — and comes at a cost.

"Thanks to the Internet, we travel more on business not less, we work at all hours on demand, and spend our free time answering email or tending to our social networks," Rushkoff writes in Present Shock. "Staring into screens, we are less attuned to light of day and the physiological rhythms of our housemates and co-workers."

Rushkoff, who made the 2010 PBS Frontline documentary Digital_Nation, calls us "citizens of the virtual city that never sleeps" in Present Shock. He describes such new phenomena as "digiphrenia" — the divided attention that results from being in multiple "places" at once and having multiple "selves" existing online simultaneously.

I won't dig much deeper into Present Shock here — you can read excerpts published in The Wall Street Journal and on "Medium;" read the reviews in The New York Times and Forbes; watch Rushkoff's recent speech on the subject at WebVisions New York 2013; listen to his interview on NPR's "On Point" today; and read this Q&A, just posted on Edutopia. It's all great stuff from a man who writes, "The future is so yesterday." 

Instead, I'd like to devote some space to what Rushkoff has written recently on children and digital media. Rushkoff has said that the constant pings of texts are taking kids out of the present moment rather than helping them live in it. And that growing up on Facebook — developing socially in an online spotlight — can put a lot of pressure on young people. (See why Rushkoff quit Facebook himself last month in this CNN.com piece — a scathing critique of what he calls an "anti-social social network.")

In two recent blog posts on Edutopia, Rushkoff offers parents advice on introducing digital media to children of different ages. The father of a 7-year-old himself, he has some firsthand experience. Here's a look at what he says in each post:

"Young Kids and Technology at Home," on Media and Younger Kids

Babies and toddlers are still developing the ability to understand the 3D world, Rushkoff writes here. "They don't fully understand the rules of opaque objects (that's why peekaboo behind a napkin poses endless fascination), so high quantities of time spent sitting in front of 2D screens may actually inhibit some of their 3D spatial awareness."

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), and indeed most pediatricians, recommend that children under age 2 have no screen time whatsoever, for this reason and others. It's a time of tremendous, critical brain development, and the AAP stresses that young children need to learn through interactions with people, not screens.

Rushkoff acknowledges the stresses and realities of parenting — and the lure of the screen — and suggests a compromise: no more than 20 minutes of screen time twice a day for the very little. Still, he says, this should only be DVDs designed for kids that have long scenes their brains can process and elements such as nature that they wouldn't otherwise see. "And no, they can't sit next to Junior while he watches Lego Star Wars," Rushkoff writes.

Rushkoff says this is good policy for kids even up to 7 or 8 years old when it comes to devices like the iPad or Nintendo DS. That's because there's so much else kids need to learn first — such as gravity. Rushkoff writes:

"Little kids play with balls, seesaws and slides as they develop their vestibular senses, and come to learn about the wonders of gravity. They move on to Frisbees, bikes and Hula Hoops as they explore angular momentum and harmonic motion. The weightless world of a digital game or virtual environment fascinates us for the way it defies the rules of the real world; until we are firmly anchored in the former reality, however, these new principles are not neurologically compatible with a developing sensory system."

In other words, it's best not to mess with developing feedback mechanisms in a child. Let kids learn to navigate the real world before they venture into virtual ones, Rushkoff says.

"Technology at Home: Developing the Social Self," on the Tween Years and Beyond

Once your kids hit the tween years, it's important that they understand the various media they're using "from the inside out: who made this, how does it work, and what does it want from me?" Rushkoff writes. Kids should understand the motivations of the developers behind all the media that's competing for their attention, he says.

"An app is not just an app: it is a marketing plan, an influence platform, and an effort at manipulation. This doesn't mean it's bad – just that it has a purpose," Rushkoff writes. Young people especially, he says, "are unaware that the virtual environments they inhabit may not be constructed with their best interests in mind." Parents should help them understand this.

It's OK to let tweens play with and learn from digital media for one or two hours each day, he says, but it should not be their primary means of social engagement.

"Why? It's not really social!" Rushkoff writes. "Social development is a body-to-body, face-to-face affair. As our social selves form, we learn to read and send messages to other people. This is when we learn most of the 94% of communication that occurs non-verbally: body positions, tone of voice, pupils dilating or contracting... in other words, the stuff you can't see in a chat room or even a 4-inch video window."

Rushkoff doesn't recommend letting tweens on Facebook or other social media until they are "fully socialized" themselves. And if you give a tween his own mobile device, he says, make sure you're in charge of when and how it's used. Keep computers and other media devices in family rooms where you can monitor kids' usage. Do not allow them in kids' bedrooms.

"Let your children enjoy and learn from this stuff, but let them know from the outset that these are not mere toys; there are people on the other side of the screen — developers and programmers — whose job it is to make it really hard for a kid to stop playing." Empower kids to turn games off, Rushkoff writes. "If you can't turn it off, it means you're losing the bigger game." Let every minute a kid goes over her allotted time for the day cost 5 minutes of time the next day, Rushkoff advises.

As for teens, Rushkoff says they "shouldn't be online until they understand how to create their own online spaces." Teens should learn basic HTML and learn about databases. They should be exposed to coding languages and should learn to think critically about digital tools and virtual worlds. Schools and parents alike have the responsibility to encourage this education, Rushkoff says.

"The computer isn't a bad or dirty thing, but it is a portal to the outside world," he writes. "It provides access to love and hate, sex and war, ideas and ignorance, support and abuse. Just like the front doors to our homes, computers may welcome our dearest friends, but anyone can knock."

And when the lights go out, he writes, so should the smartphones. "Exceptions to the rule are that Hurricane Sandy hit, or the kids are at a sleepover. 'Johnny may ask me to the dance' is not an exception."

Note Rushkoff's great list of resources for parents and other interested parties at the end of this post, too. It includes Talking Back to Facebook, a 2012 book by James P. Steyer, founder and CEO of Common Sense Media, that addresses many parents' concerns about social media and offers practical advice. In this age of "present shock" and in-the-moment digital living, it's advice many parents will eagerly hear.

"This Is Part of Raising Children Now": TV Report on Monitoring Kids' Online Lives

There's no excuse for not staying on top of your children's online activity, experts said in a recent TV news report from WRAL in Raleigh, Durham and Fayetteville, North Carolina.

WRAL reporter Amanda Lamb talked to social media experts who agreed that parents must educate themselves about the media platforms their kids are using, and educate their kids — from the very beginning — about the various pitfalls involved. (See the TV report here.)



Lamb spoke with some kid experts, too. Twelve-year-old Kalyse Connor said social media is a "huge" part of her middle school life. Even her 7-year-old sister, Kaiya, is online, using sites like National Geographic's Animal Jam and doing Facetime with her mom.

But Kalyse and Kaiya's parents closely monitor all of their online activity. "Our girls cannot go on any social network without our permission," said Angela Connor, who manages social media for a communications company. “I think we have to be involved as parents," she said. "It's not OK to say, 'Oh, I don't know. We didn't do that when I was a kid.'"

A top concern of many parents is kids posting things that will get other people, or themselves, in trouble — now or down the road.

"We don't know what college applications are going to be like in six years," said the girls' father, Derek Connor. "Are they going to Google you? Are they going to go back and look at your Facebook page and see the things you've posted?"

"It's really important for parents to understand that they have to do this," Angela Connor added. "This is part of raising children now."

Watch the full report above, or read the story — which includes an Internet safety checklist for parents from North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper — here.

Edutopia: More Great Resources on Raising Kids in a Digital World

For anyone looking for guidance navigating the digital world of today's kids, the site Edutopia has a great resource page that's a must to bookmark.

"Media and Digital Literacy: Resources for Parents" is an excellent collection of articles, videos, tip sheets and other resources compiled by the editors of Common Sense Media. These carefully curated links contain a wealth of useful information. Learn how much privacy a kid gives up in one hour online. Find out what to do when Facebook photos go wrong. Learn how to create a healthy media diet for your kids.

The topics on this site run the gamut, from keeping kids safe online to the ins and outs of social networking sites. Need help dealing with digital harrassment? Check out "When Texting Turns to Torment." Want to learn more about digital security? Read about the dangers of phishing and spyware here. If you're not too clear on how kids can use digital media ethically for schoolwork, there's a section of resources on hi-tech cheating, digital piracy and copyright law. There are even links on the influence of media role models and why these role models matter.

Edutopia, a site published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, has as its mission improving K-12 education. The well-organized site catalogs innovative practices in education. Thankfully for interested parents and caregivers, it catalogs articles like the above as well. It's an easy-to-navigate site and well worth a look.

Twitter's for Two-Year-Olds, Too: "The Honest Toddler" Tells It Like It Is

It's the perfect meeting of digital technology and young children today: A toddler who tweets! And blogs. And posts Facebook status updates. And has grown-up followers by the ten-gazillions.

OK, so the toddler in this scenario isn't actually a toddler. But let's leave that aside for a moment... I'm talking about The Honest Toddler, a virtual child who's earned a tremendous following — and even a book deal — in just a matter of months.

The Honest Toddler is like a 2013 cross between Charlie Brown (lovable, thoughtful, put-upon) and Stewie from "The Family Guy" (hyper-intelligent, resentful of adults, plotting to take over the world or at least rid it of broccoli).

Sorry about last night. Guess we both learned something though. You learned to come the first time I call and I learned to never give up.
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) February 26, 2013

An advocate for fellow toddlers everywhere, the Honest Toddler does not mince words. She tells toddler life like it is. In the blog post "The Nap Window," the Honest Toddler writes, "These people brought you into the world and all they can think about is the next time you'll be unconscious." In "Not Sorry," she states, "I’m not sorry that I exploded a feather pillow with scissors. Pillows are family property and I’m part of this family."

Grandmas always see you for you, not for the things you break or catch on fire.
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) February 7, 2013

The Honest Toddler has no shortage of advice for grown-ups. From the post "Feeding": "If toddler hits [a] spoon out of your hand, laugh and move on to dessert." From "Judgment Day": "Spend less than 15 minutes a day on Pinterest. Use 14 of those minutes searching for new cake recipes. Bake that cake." ("Judgment Day" is a small gem about how a group called Anonymous Toddlers shuts down Pinterest and Instagram, tired of sitting "naked in potato sacks and on wooden benches while your parents Instagramed ridiculous photos of you adjacent to wheelbarrows.")

There's advice for other toddlers too. From "How to Get Kicked Out of Preschool," for those desperate to escape their "holding cell for toddlers": "During naptime, wait until the room is silent. Jump up suddenly and yell, “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” in a celebration voice. Mom and dad will be there shortly." And check out the "Honest Toddler of the Day" series, where poor toddlers like "Honest Toddler of the Day: Isobel" are honored for persevering despite having no bike, boring toys, a troublesome older sibling and being fed spinach pea risotto.

Walked into my parent's room at 3AM. They looked at me like I was the angel of death. Just wanted a quesadilla.
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) February 7, 2013

Fell down and was just denied a Band Aid because "there's no blood." EMOTIONAL SCARS DON'T BLEED
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) January 30, 2013

The Honest Toddler's nearly 195,000 Twitter followers and more than 90,000 Facebook fans have always known something deep down: that a toddler wasn't really writing these brilliant missives on being small. So who was?

The answer was revealed February 26 in posts announcing the Honest Toddler's new book, The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting. On the bottom of the cover, in fine print, are the words, "Written under the supervision of Bunmi Laditan."

So the secret's now out. A mother of two and longtime writer/social media consultant who lives in Quebec is the real voice behind this clever, media-saavy tot. Furthermore, the Honest Toddler is definitely based on a girl, Laditan's youngest daughter, now 3 years old. (There had been much speculation over the Honest Toddler's gender.)

"I deliberately decided to stay anonymous because it wasn't about me; it was more about the voice and the entertainment," Laditan told the Huffington Post yesterday. "The only reason people know that I'm behind it now is because my name needed to be on the book cover." 

Laditan took a moment away from tweeting, blogging and parenting for the Huffington Post's fun Q&A. But she noted, "In the time I've answered these questions, my youngest has managed to dip her hand in a jar of maple syrup. Fully submerge it." 

This is exactly this kind of thing that inspired Laditan last May to see the humor in her life of caring for her then 2-year-old while working from home — a situation she called "absolute madness" — and start tweeting about it.

The Honest Toddler's huge popularity tells us at least one thing: People will read a toddler's tweets. And blog posts. And Facebook updates. That's right, maybe Twitter really could be for toddlers... if only we'd teach them how to use it.

(You can pre-order Laditan's new book on Amazon here. It's due out May 7, just in time for Mother's Day.)

"I Hereby Agree to...": Parent-Kid Tech Pacts

From Paul Baier's PracticalSustainability blog

Are parent-kid technology contracts in vogue these days? At least a couple have become media sensations in recent weeks. Earlier this month, a dad posted on his blog a contract he signed with his 14-year-old daughter to pay her $200 if she stayed off Facebook for the rest of the school year. The post, by Paul Baier of the Boston area, went viral in a matter of hours.

And everyone had something to say about it. Some folks commenting on Baier's blog — presumably total strangers — called him a wonderful, creative and caring dad. They called his contract "brilliant," "ingenious," and "awesome." Supporters recounted their own parents paying them to do chores or get good grades. But others tore Baier apart, accusing him of bad parenting, bribery and even of forcing his daughter into the agreement — despite his stating in his original blog post, "Her idea which I support fully."

In the days following his posting, Baier told the Boston Herald, and various other news outlets, that it was indeed his daughter, an honor student, who approached him with this idea. He said she found Facebook "distracting and boring and full of nothingness!" She also wanted to earn some cash. (His daughter is not alone in her Facebook hiatus, by the way: A Pew Research Center report released in early February found that 61% of Facebook users have at some point taken a break from the site for several weeks or more.)

Janell Burley Hofmann, a Cape Cod mom, drew the same kind of attention — and fire — when she publicly shared an 18-point list of rules her 13-year-old son had to abide by when she gave him an iPhone for Christmas. "Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership," Hofmann wrote on the Huffington Post, where she shared the details of the contract. Her rules included: "2. I will always know the password." "5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill." And "8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person." As of this posting, there were 1,669 comments to Hofmann's original post — many applauding her rules but others dissing them rather harshly.

Regardless of what their friends (or even strangers) may think about it, many parents make technology pacts with their children. Others who would like to but who need some help getting started can find quite a few ready-made contracts available online.

"Online safety cards" from A Platform for Good

Take, for example, these downloadable contracts about gadget usage from A Platform for Good (PFG), a project of the Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI). Parents can use them when giving their child a new smartphone, tablet, computer, cell phone or gaming system. Both parent and child sign the contract. The child agrees to certain limits and restrictions. In return, the parent promises to learn more about the technology and to "not overreact" if something goes awry.

Common Sense Media has contracts too, called "Family Media Agreements," for kids as young as Kindergarten level. (They're broken down by grade level: elementary school, middle school and high school). The kids agree to be responsible and careful, and the parents agree to be understanding and open-minded about the technology their kids use.

Even the U.S Attorney General's office has its own "Internet Safety Contract" for children in Kindergarten through 5th grade. The "Family Online Safety Contract" from FOSI is another contract specifically about Internet safety.

The "Technology Contract" for kids at Yoursphere for Parents is worth looking into, too. "I’ve experienced firsthand that not only do technology contracts provide you the opportunity to candidly talk to your child about what’s safe use and what’s not, they’re also a great way to create boundaries for our children," says Mary Kay Hoal, Internet safety expert and founder of Yoursphere.com. Hoal certainly knows about kids and technology use. In her home, she writes, there are "three laptops, one desktop, one iPad, two iPod Touches, two Wii’s, one Xbox 360, four smartphones, one non-smart cell phone, one Netflix account, one landline and two TVs." Oh, and five kids — all bound by contract to follow the rules.

Staying on Top of Your Mobile Kids' Tech Use: Tips from Mashable

Use your own email account when you start your child on Facebook. Play video games together. Install filters and anti-virus protection on all of your devices. Tell your child that you own the mobile device he or she is using — you paid for it and you'll be in charge of the restrictions.

These are just some of the tips from Monica Vila in the February 8 Mashable article "Keeping One Step Ahead of Kids in a Mobile World." Vila, co-founder of The Online Mom, explains how she used to have her kids' technology usage under control, until everything went mobile.

"For parents, mobile technology has become a losing game of Whac-A-Mole, as we desperately try to keep up with all the various apps and communication platforms that are currently in vogue," Vila writes. So here she offers parents her own best advice for staying on top of kids' "anytime, anywhere" technology use. Her last word to the wise, by the way? "Turn off your smartphone at home as often as possible — be the person you want your child to become."

Check out Vila's site, The Online Mom. It's chock-full of advice, information and encouragement about embracing technology and keeping kids responsible and safe online.

Respecting Children's Privacy Online

A couple of years ago, a study came out that said 92% of children in the U.S. under age two already had a digital "footprint" of some kind — from photos and albums of themselves posted online to email addresses to full-on social network profiles. The study, by Internet security firm AVG, found that 34% of U.S. children had an online presence even before they were born, thanks to sonograms posted by their parents — a "digital birth" before their own actual births.

What happens when these kids grow up? When they reach tweendom, say, and are old enough to see and understand this online documentation of their childhoods? Will they flinch at the anecdotes their parents shared on social media sites — not to mention all the comments their parents' friends and followers posted in response? Since they had no control over creating these early online profiles (they certainly didn't post those toddler shots of themselves with food all over their faces), how will they feel about them?

In the February 4 TODAY Moms article "Sharing 'Cute' Naked Photos of Your Kids Online: Just Don't", Carolyn Savage tells the story of when she came across naked pictures of herself as a baby — the old fashioned print kind — when she was 11. "My immediate reaction was to hide every last one of the photos," Savage writes. "As innocent as the pictures were, in my pre-pubescent mind, no one — not even my parents — had a right to possess pictures of me with no clothes on. My body was mine and at that point in my life, I wanted to keep my body private."

And these were just her mom's personal collection of family pics. Savage's piece was sparked by a recent outcry over one mom blogger posting a picture on Instagram of her naked 3-year-old in the tub. The blogger has over 20,000 followers, and while some defended her posting, many were outraged by it, citing pedophiles and child pornographers as well as her toddler's own right to privacy. (The blogger has since taken the photo down.)

For many parents, posting naked photos, even of babies, crosses a line. Many understand that once a photo is out there, it's out there, and there's no real way to know or control who ends up getting access to it or what they might use it for. A poll accompanying Savage's article on TODAY Moms asks, "Is it OK to share naked photos of your kids online?" As of this posting, 86% had clicked "No; children have a right to privacy, too," while just 14% clicked "Yes! They're cute, and it's all in good fun."

But nakedness is just one thing to consider. In the February 1 Time.com piece "Are You Guilty of 'Oversharenting'? Why We Owe Our Kids Online Privacy," Carolyn Jones notes that college admissions officers and hiring managers "regularly research their potential candidates online." This could include whatever a candidate's parents might have publicly written about him or her in the past.

Jones also discusses identity theft: "All a fraudster needs is a child’s name, birth date and address — details that can be cherry-picked off unsecured social-media profiles — and they can commit identify theft that won’t be discovered until the child is much older," she writes.

In its "Online Reputation Guide for College-Bound Students," SafetyWeb, a service from Experian, notes: "A digital footprint can last a lifetime unless an individual diligently practices online reputation management (monitoring)." But how can a teen control the online "reputation" his or her parents created years ago? What about the children whose parents regularly blog about their lives, sharing all manner of growing-up stories with the online world at large? All that commentary about what little Amy did today won't go away when Amy grows up.

"The more of our lives we put online from the beginning, the more there is to contend with later on," Steven Leckart wrote last May in The Wall Street Journal article "The Facebook-Free Baby." In this piece — in which he famously coined the term "oversharenting" — Leckart described his decision not to post anything about his infant son on Facebook, including photos. "It's not that I want my son to remain hidden from the world," he wrote. "I just want him to inherit a decision instead of a list of passwords and default settings. If he takes part in social media, he'll eventually do so on his own terms, not mine."

Savage at TODAY Moms asks a simple but important question: "When does a child's right to privacy trump a parent's desire to share?" It's a question each parent needs to answer for himself or herself. Facebook's ever-changing privacy settings may be a pain to navigate, but parents should take the time to understand them and decide what they want to share with whom. Will they share photos of their kids with private lists of close friends and family or with all 500 Facebook friends? Will they post their children's full names, first and last? If they blog about their child's life, will they use his or her real name? The YouTube videos are certainly adorable — but do parents want these to be part of their children's online profiles forever?

These are individual decisions. But they're decisions that could have important consequences, both today and down the road. Facebook has only been around since 2004. It will still be a few years before the first generation of kids who had their sonograms posted to the site are even officially old enough to use it.