Twitter's for Two-Year-Olds, Too: "The Honest Toddler" Tells It Like It Is

It's the perfect meeting of digital technology and young children today: A toddler who tweets! And blogs. And posts Facebook status updates. And has grown-up followers by the ten-gazillions.

OK, so the toddler in this scenario isn't actually a toddler. But let's leave that aside for a moment... I'm talking about The Honest Toddler, a virtual child who's earned a tremendous following — and even a book deal — in just a matter of months.

The Honest Toddler is like a 2013 cross between Charlie Brown (lovable, thoughtful, put-upon) and Stewie from "The Family Guy" (hyper-intelligent, resentful of adults, plotting to take over the world or at least rid it of broccoli).

Sorry about last night. Guess we both learned something though. You learned to come the first time I call and I learned to never give up.
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) February 26, 2013

An advocate for fellow toddlers everywhere, the Honest Toddler does not mince words. She tells toddler life like it is. In the blog post "The Nap Window," the Honest Toddler writes, "These people brought you into the world and all they can think about is the next time you'll be unconscious." In "Not Sorry," she states, "I’m not sorry that I exploded a feather pillow with scissors. Pillows are family property and I’m part of this family."

Grandmas always see you for you, not for the things you break or catch on fire.
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) February 7, 2013

The Honest Toddler has no shortage of advice for grown-ups. From the post "Feeding": "If toddler hits [a] spoon out of your hand, laugh and move on to dessert." From "Judgment Day": "Spend less than 15 minutes a day on Pinterest. Use 14 of those minutes searching for new cake recipes. Bake that cake." ("Judgment Day" is a small gem about how a group called Anonymous Toddlers shuts down Pinterest and Instagram, tired of sitting "naked in potato sacks and on wooden benches while your parents Instagramed ridiculous photos of you adjacent to wheelbarrows.")

There's advice for other toddlers too. From "How to Get Kicked Out of Preschool," for those desperate to escape their "holding cell for toddlers": "During naptime, wait until the room is silent. Jump up suddenly and yell, “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” in a celebration voice. Mom and dad will be there shortly." And check out the "Honest Toddler of the Day" series, where poor toddlers like "Honest Toddler of the Day: Isobel" are honored for persevering despite having no bike, boring toys, a troublesome older sibling and being fed spinach pea risotto.

Walked into my parent's room at 3AM. They looked at me like I was the angel of death. Just wanted a quesadilla.
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) February 7, 2013

Fell down and was just denied a Band Aid because "there's no blood." EMOTIONAL SCARS DON'T BLEED
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) January 30, 2013

The Honest Toddler's nearly 195,000 Twitter followers and more than 90,000 Facebook fans have always known something deep down: that a toddler wasn't really writing these brilliant missives on being small. So who was?

The answer was revealed February 26 in posts announcing the Honest Toddler's new book, The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting. On the bottom of the cover, in fine print, are the words, "Written under the supervision of Bunmi Laditan."

So the secret's now out. A mother of two and longtime writer/social media consultant who lives in Quebec is the real voice behind this clever, media-saavy tot. Furthermore, the Honest Toddler is definitely based on a girl, Laditan's youngest daughter, now 3 years old. (There had been much speculation over the Honest Toddler's gender.)

"I deliberately decided to stay anonymous because it wasn't about me; it was more about the voice and the entertainment," Laditan told the Huffington Post yesterday. "The only reason people know that I'm behind it now is because my name needed to be on the book cover." 

Laditan took a moment away from tweeting, blogging and parenting for the Huffington Post's fun Q&A. But she noted, "In the time I've answered these questions, my youngest has managed to dip her hand in a jar of maple syrup. Fully submerge it." 

This is exactly this kind of thing that inspired Laditan last May to see the humor in her life of caring for her then 2-year-old while working from home — a situation she called "absolute madness" — and start tweeting about it.

The Honest Toddler's huge popularity tells us at least one thing: People will read a toddler's tweets. And blog posts. And Facebook updates. That's right, maybe Twitter really could be for toddlers... if only we'd teach them how to use it.

(You can pre-order Laditan's new book on Amazon here. It's due out May 7, just in time for Mother's Day.)