"I Hereby Agree to...": Parent-Kid Tech Pacts

From Paul Baier's PracticalSustainability blog

Are parent-kid technology contracts in vogue these days? At least a couple have become media sensations in recent weeks. Earlier this month, a dad posted on his blog a contract he signed with his 14-year-old daughter to pay her $200 if she stayed off Facebook for the rest of the school year. The post, by Paul Baier of the Boston area, went viral in a matter of hours.

And everyone had something to say about it. Some folks commenting on Baier's blog — presumably total strangers — called him a wonderful, creative and caring dad. They called his contract "brilliant," "ingenious," and "awesome." Supporters recounted their own parents paying them to do chores or get good grades. But others tore Baier apart, accusing him of bad parenting, bribery and even of forcing his daughter into the agreement — despite his stating in his original blog post, "Her idea which I support fully."

In the days following his posting, Baier told the Boston Herald, and various other news outlets, that it was indeed his daughter, an honor student, who approached him with this idea. He said she found Facebook "distracting and boring and full of nothingness!" She also wanted to earn some cash. (His daughter is not alone in her Facebook hiatus, by the way: A Pew Research Center report released in early February found that 61% of Facebook users have at some point taken a break from the site for several weeks or more.)

Janell Burley Hofmann, a Cape Cod mom, drew the same kind of attention — and fire — when she publicly shared an 18-point list of rules her 13-year-old son had to abide by when she gave him an iPhone for Christmas. "Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership," Hofmann wrote on the Huffington Post, where she shared the details of the contract. Her rules included: "2. I will always know the password." "5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill." And "8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person." As of this posting, there were 1,669 comments to Hofmann's original post — many applauding her rules but others dissing them rather harshly.

Regardless of what their friends (or even strangers) may think about it, many parents make technology pacts with their children. Others who would like to but who need some help getting started can find quite a few ready-made contracts available online.

"Online safety cards" from A Platform for Good

Take, for example, these downloadable contracts about gadget usage from A Platform for Good (PFG), a project of the Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI). Parents can use them when giving their child a new smartphone, tablet, computer, cell phone or gaming system. Both parent and child sign the contract. The child agrees to certain limits and restrictions. In return, the parent promises to learn more about the technology and to "not overreact" if something goes awry.

Common Sense Media has contracts too, called "Family Media Agreements," for kids as young as Kindergarten level. (They're broken down by grade level: elementary school, middle school and high school). The kids agree to be responsible and careful, and the parents agree to be understanding and open-minded about the technology their kids use.

Even the U.S Attorney General's office has its own "Internet Safety Contract" for children in Kindergarten through 5th grade. The "Family Online Safety Contract" from FOSI is another contract specifically about Internet safety.

The "Technology Contract" for kids at Yoursphere for Parents is worth looking into, too. "I’ve experienced firsthand that not only do technology contracts provide you the opportunity to candidly talk to your child about what’s safe use and what’s not, they’re also a great way to create boundaries for our children," says Mary Kay Hoal, Internet safety expert and founder of Yoursphere.com. Hoal certainly knows about kids and technology use. In her home, she writes, there are "three laptops, one desktop, one iPad, two iPod Touches, two Wii’s, one Xbox 360, four smartphones, one non-smart cell phone, one Netflix account, one landline and two TVs." Oh, and five kids — all bound by contract to follow the rules.